Mine will. In fact, she’ll go further.
It’ll start with a poke about my car’s age, follow with an exclamation about its external condition, accelerate with a slam about its internal cleanliness, descend with a left hook about my driving and end with an upper cut that questions my car’s safety, its “integrity.” Which I know is basically a metaphor about me. So, I always wonder why I ever bother fulfilling my annual Mother’s Day obligation, to pick her up promptly at noon and whisk her off to her dining venue of choice? Maybe I should take the train, grab a taxi and let her comment on that? But I can hear her now: “What, no UberLUX?”
Now, before you paint the wrong picture of her, my mother was clocked at 57mph leaning well out of the window of her at ancient Nissan Prairie while negotiating a double roundabout. She explained to the Police that she was merely attempting to keep a low centre of gravity through the chicane.
She obviously knows a bit about driving, cars and, well, automotive physics. And one would suspect that she knows a little about me too. She is well aware that I choose to drive an older car, a big one, whose body is battered and whose seats are littered, because of what I do with it.
You see, I’m an extreme sports (all of them!) enthusiast. That requires transporting awkward-shaped equipment, often in a filthy state, and parking in remote spots “off-road” full of rocks, fallen trees, potholes and other assorted obstacles. Hence the mess inside and the dents outside the car. Contrary to her anecdotal evidence, the clean driving license I have maintained for decades is proof that my driving skills are well within society’s boundaries. And if she doubts whether my car can pass its MOT, I show her all the results of all the MOT tests and car services I have booked.
So, here is my advice before the big day: get a £2 car wash, hide all the muck under the floor mats, use a moist wipe to clean the dash, drive a little slower, and quickly and easily book a pre-Mum car service at bookmygarage.com.
Plus buy flowers. After all that, she’ll think your car, and you, are wonderful.
Libby has been working for BookMyGarage writing articles, creating newsletters and handling the social media platforms. She works closely with ex-mechanics and subject matter experts to provide weekly blogs: essential advice on how to care for your car, need-to-know news and developments in the motoring world and helpful tips on how to cut the costs of running and maintaining your car.